Learning From Old Drivers

The other day, as I approached a busy intersection, I was conscious of myself quickly checking things out - car in the left turn lane, car in the opposing left turn lane, car to my right turning right, no one in the crosswalk, light still green, no cars running red lights to my right or left.  In a very quick instant I realized that it was safe to proceed, and I did.

But then I wondered this:  would I be able to take the same quick read on the intersection stimuli were I 74 or 84 instead of 54 (indeed, was I better able to do so at 44 or 34)?  I'm sure I'm not the only one who can "feel" the right speed of a road while driving.  For instance, one country road near my old home town twists and turns, has no shoulders, has hidden drives galore, trees near the road, and so on.  It sports a speed limit of 50 - too fast by at least 10 miles an hour (or at least that's how it feels).  A five lane commercial trunk line runs near my current home.  It has wide lanes, few trees, set back buildings, no hidden drives and, at least for a stretch, a speed limit of 35 - too slow by at least 10 miles an hour.

I'm sure the driving speed that feels right to me has slowed down some over the years.  How else can I explain the increasing number of drivers who speed around me, blow through yellow lights next to me while I am stopping, or (especially in the case of 20-something young women talking on cell phones) tailgate me?  How else can I explain that the number of pokey old drivers that I speed around has decreased?  There is a reason, I suppose, why my insurance rates at at all-time lows; I'm driving slower and safer than a lot of younger people and quicker and more alertly than a lot of older people.

In this world where technology has made instant communication of words, documents, and media so prevalent, where finding an answer to most routine questions is never more than a Google away (from a computer, a cell phone, or the latest must-have hybrid of the two), and where the "fast lane" no longer refers primarily to the left lane on a highway, but, rather, to the preferred lifestyle for working, playing and getting more stuff, there is little room for living life slowly, or at least slower.  But many people are unhappy with this state of affairs and are "slowly" (sorry) pushing back.  In preparing a talk on this subject a while back, I read a book called In Praise of Slowness: Challenging the Cult of Speed by Carl Honoré, a Canadian journalist.  In the book, Honoré uses “slow” and “fast” not in any absolute sense, but in the sense of being balanced versus unbalanced, in control of your life versus out of control.  He writes:  

"What the world needs, and what the Slow movement offers, is a middle path, a recipe for marrying la dolce vita with the dynamism of the information age.  The secret is balance: instead of doing everything faster, do everything at the right speed.  Sometimes fast.  Sometimes slow.  Sometimes somewhere in between.  Being Slow means never rushing, never striving to save time just for the sake of it.  It means remaining calm and unflustered even when circumstances force us to speed up..."

So the question I find myself asking myself, over and over again, is this:  should I do this or that faster just because I can?  More and more the answer seems to be no.  And more and more, as I find a speed for living that feels right, I am enjoying the drive a little more.  Now when I notice people blowing by me, on the road or in life, I am less inclined to be angry and more inclined to smile.  Their journey, after all, is theirs.  I just want mine to be mine.